Today is not a real bad day according to my conventional criteria. I made it through Finished Art and CGD without any proper preparation. I managed to crap out hundreds something words for a painting that I do not really relate to (or not yet...come one, who could really feel for a-million-pixel masterpiece miniature squeezed in a tiny screen). Although English is still lurking to kill me anytime, I think I did quite okay.
Yet, fate decided to spice up my day a little just by adding in salt to my injury. In what way, I think I ran and told it to everybody I possibly know well enough in this world already. So I'm not going to discuss it's here.
It's ironic because it was supposed to be just an entertaining joke in the first place. I did not take it seriously in any way. Just a thing to look forward to, think about when I have nothing to think. Dream about when Saturday nap still seems too short. But the it turned out to take its toll on me when such imaginary vision started falling apart. Maybe something real did grow in me. A false hope. A faint dash of ambition.
I pity my object of affection anyway. I was like a monster that gradually devour in secret him bit by bit day after day. A bit of him is lost with me forever without his being aware of it. And now when everything comes clear. The light of truth pierces through the coarse skin of the sneaky monster, shaking it back to consciousness and knocking some senses into it. It is wounded, once bitten twice shy. It'd take a few months to recover but will never be back to normal again. It is quite silly and weak-minded to let something so trivial, so fictional to take control of it. It curses the day it defines the way how love for it should be. Love should be admiration and then trust and then affection. That's just wrong. That just makes it disgust with general ordinary population of human and be infatuated with whatever image it paints and imposes on some good-looking object it finds on the way to eventual solitude.
So fuck it, it says. "Love is sin basically". If it can't love and can't be loved, it would not sin which makes sense to it morally. A bit of void might hurt now and then but nothing could beat it once it let that void root in itself.
Too many words to say. Too few people could understand.
Finally the asshole (I feel bad calling him so after he supposedly did me a huge favor) gave me the password to my house's Internet. That means only 2 things: this blog will be updated more often and I'll be distracted a hell lot from doing assignments. Since I could foresee the latter will happen in daily basis without any discretionary drastic measure, I gave myself the liberty to go wild on the first day and cut down on the usage on the following days until the end of this semester by simply not turning on the computer. Hopefully I can follow through whatever shit I have ranted in the last few lines.
I have failed to follow my goal of dedicating the whole weekend to works so far. The weather is so nice the bed somewhat turns into an affordable heaven on earth for me. 5 minute nap time spans out to 1 hour or even worse ....8 hour of hibernation. For college student, sleeping is a luxury that one should never has his eyes on because once he did, he would become addicted and before he knew it, he ended up wasting precious time for works.
But then after sleeping a lot, I drew out a conclusion that nothing is beautiful in life but sleeping and dreaming. Dreams are the best thing that could ever happen to human. And for the last 2 days, I have so far the best dream ever in 4 months since I first came here.
I would not disclose the content of the first one because it went far beyond any logically social and moral tolerance. So let it just be in my mind for the rest of this eternity
For the second one, it's about Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I do not know why I turn all very nervous about my going to concert by Yeah Yeah Yeahs this coming January. All I know is that I just have this desperation to touch them, to see and talk to them in person. Yup, I'm a freak but when I idolize someone or something, it's a must that I have to re-affirm my connection with such subjects by some forms of communication. Maybe it's vanity. Maybe it's vain attempt to get attention from someone I think is worthy of. Maybe it's just to prove that I'm important because I'm with the band. Well, this sort of groupie's psychology is not as simple as people usually perceive them to be.
My teacher once stressed that if I was to choose to do something for a living, I'd better pick the one that benefit the whole society. But all I could think of is being a hardcore groupie and earning money, contributing to society whatsoever is just a means to keep that goal going. Is there something wrong with that? I think pursuing one's dream is more important that being a helpful atom in a sea of particles. In the end of the day, I am the one to judge myself. Not the society. Many celebrities fail to live up to their dreams, their expectation and kill themselves. So they fail basically but are still appreciated by the society. How hollow is that evaluation? So it just does not make sense that I have to forgo my dream for the sake of few other people (I do not think I can bring difference to a massive group of people anyway)
So I'll choose to live as a selfish individual. I'll try my best to sneak in the car park just to get a glimpse of Nick and Karen and Brian. By hooks or crooks, I must give them whatever I can.
YYYs seems to be very inaccessible. I wish my luck will work its way to them!!!!
BTW, I need to get back doing my work now....Seriously, the only good thing about Finished Art is that I am prepared to survive in China as a cheap labour making popup cards and notebooks.
BTW...NICK ZINNER IS MY NEW GOD. GONNA CHANGE THIS BLOG TO NICK ZINNER SHRINE. TABU IS STILL KEPT AT BY THOUGH =P
After the first failed attempt, I finally got to watch this movie and was quite surprised that at the wee hour of early afternoon show, Malaysian were still eagerly filling up the cinema. Were they supposed to be somewhere else working? It was not even weekend yet. Probably the fact that Sunway Pyramid was the pinnacle and the only cinema in this uni and college-studded area is enough to give a thorough and succinct explanation for this constant over-populated state. But well, given the student discount and quite acceptable felt-wrapped seat (the back rest is not as comfortable as it sounds though), I can turn a blind eye to the chaotic endless queue to concentrate more on having fun experiencing the works of arts. Today 2012 is definitely one of them.
Have you noticed that movie release cycle works the same way as we do. Promising in springs with lots and lots of trailer to tempt our curiosity. Really vigorous during summer, churning out blockbusters that suck movie-goers in like magnet. Going mushy throughout Autumn as chick-flicks and sugar-coated romance damp the eyes of the lovers (there are a few middle-ranged action movies too but chances are your girlfriends will have her way with hugs and kisses). And I have no comment about Winter, the industry wanes and fades into brain-dead mode with mind-numbingly annoying holiday movies (list 10 worst movies in any duration of time and a Christmas-themed 90-minute-torture will pop up like corn on stove).
That's why 2012 is such a fresh breeze to the silver screen this season. It might not be the best of the best but surely a must-watch, especially in its own genre: disaster movies.
Spoiler but necessarily, there is no way I am going to praise the storyline of 2012. If 2012 was made a year earlier, it would definitely be victimized by THE DISASTER MOVIE for its poorly constructed storyline. The plot could be dated way back to the Armageddon Day that I doubt my 10 year old cousin would feel the need to bug me now and then with the question: "what's happening next ?". Indeed, a new Nobel prize should be invented and awarded to whoever that could come up with a different formula for disaster movie. No kidding, it is as hard as changing humans natural reflex, not to mention in this case you have to change millions'. Leaving us to our own devices, our immediate reaction when disaster happens is of course either to run or to kill ourselves. I bet no film maker would opt for the latter just to end his blockbuster after 10 minute of screening unless if the purpose of the show is to collect rotten eggs and elaborated curses. So basically, the predictability of 2012 is forgiven.
However, watching 2012 is no less interesting than reading a well-written general knowledge. Basic facts are all there but the perspective of the makers/writers is new and refreshing. 2012 with its 2 hour 30 minute run could afford to do that without cramming up the details or getting boring. The relationships and how they are affected by the incident reach out far away from conventional and enough-said husband-and-wife, parent-children, companion connection. 2012 touches the sensitive side of politics, of estranged relationship, the wrongful affair, rivalry and especially the international interaction aka, general humanity although I have to disagree with it in some parts. The links between characters are not acted up but always kept in focus which thankfully does not make 2012 another disastrous medium to expose individual human nature but at the same time conveys a very positive dynamic of compassion within a huge population. In other words, 2012 looks at humans in a big picture rather than picking out a few biased examples to sentimentalize the whole subject. That's probably the reason why the heroic selfless acts here seem to be more reasonable than in the others.
The downside 2010 plot or any disaster movie is of course the characters remain one-sided. But then again, it is sorta hard to psychologically analyze the characters while a tidal waves are approaching them from both front and back. So yeah, next time if you go watch any movie of this genre, do not expect to see Johny Deep or Anthony Hopkins. :P. An amateur Chinese worker panicking with hammer in his hand can perform better in this kind of movie than both of those put together.
Talking about Chinese, I hate it when the casting chose all the cocky-looking guys to act as Chinese officials. I've been to China only once but I stayed there long enough to see that Chinese officials do not look a bit arrogant like that. We all hear bad things about China. Counterfeit. Cheap labor. Poisonous toys. But that does not mean Chinese people need to look like aliens or some stuck up dudes. Chinese nature is mostly kind and generous so the event where they refused to help the main bunch of characters is quite wrongly stereotyped, or biased. The movie could have done Tibetan temples justice too. Come on, it's the holly land of Buddhism with gigantic temples then why do you only show us a small little hut with a sleepy monk?
Besides, another thing that ticks me off is that there are only few countries invited to attend the special surviving project. How about UN? How about the rest of the world? There is a little consolidation for African in the end that they survive but how about MY country? How about Indonesia where more disasters have happened there than elsewhere? With tsunami occurs in yearly basis, I think Indonesia at least deserves a special mention there. In brief, we Asians (excluding Chinese and Japanese) feel very left out please. Oh yeah, another subtle message of the movie is that if Apocalypse occurs, the racial ratio in the world will definitely change. Filthily rich Middle Eastern and Russian millionaires will roam the earth while only a few Chinese workers who managed to sneak on the ark at the last minute will have the hard time to repopulate. Forget about Indian because bloody US did not want them in the boat at the first place. RACIST! But well, if whatever Russell Peter said about his race's number one cheapness is true, then Indians probably chose to die at will saying that "I'd rather die than paying billions for that bloody small room on a metal ark. I'd get the same room by going to jail..FOR FREE!". No offense :P Just a joke.
2012 is wrapped up with corny happy ending for protagonist couples too which I really dislikes because it required a few sacrifices from secondary actors who, in case of the Russian pilot, is major hotness (Funny Russian English accent is the plus plus).
Talking about life and death, 2012 is not that depressing as everyone imagined before really watching it. Indeed, the movie is quite lighthearted with several tension-breakers here and there. Not to mention the thrill drive of barely escaping the mass destruction of nature on a plane. Therefore, the entertainment values of 2012 are quite high, sometimes even subdue the sentimental aspect but I'm not sure if some concerned people feel pleased when the serious subject matter is treated that way. Whatever, Bentley joke is still the best (won't spoil it for you, just let you know that it's the best product displacement ever taking place in a blockbuster).
Visual and audio-wise, 2012 is a huge treat. Combination of magnificent view with mind-blasting sound will definitely leave you in awe until the next day. Special effect seems real and yeah, proudly to announce that one of the ex TOA students did the contribution. I'd have been more impressed if more action-movie-ly camera angles were introduced but since this is a disaster movie with no real emphasis on one single individuals heroic moment, I guess it's oik with just the panorama of the disasters.
What a pity that the message of saving the earth does not really transcend. No blame was put on human for those disasters. What happened was just simply attributed to the natural eventual end of the earth. I mean yeah, we should not rant about our responsibility for the environment all the time but why not give it just a little room in 2 hour and 30 minute for public education purpose to kill 2 birds with one stone? Do not tell me that this is more of religious prophecy because I get sick of all that surreal explanation (Give me back RM 10 I spent on THE KNOWING pls!!!!) . Not that I deny the existence of supernatural force. I just feel like human is not given enough credit for their misbehavior towards mother Earth.
In short, although I seem to bash 2012 in this review, it's by no mean a B-graded movie. I just want to mention some downsides of this blockbuster for the sake of being different and standing out from other reviews as well as to relieve whatever I think was portrayed unfairly in the movie. Let me assure you once again that 2012 is totally worth your RM 10 and nearly 3 hours in the cinema. If you think that you'd rather spend that time and money for New Moon, well, your life deserves to be taken in return for my pilot hottie Sasha :P
I think if they conduct a survey on depression, it's no surprise to find out that people become more depressed towards the end of the year. Probably because of the anticipation and frustration for upcoming festive season mentality or just simply that many things just happen to occur during this time of the year. And when you look at the calendar this year, you'll remember what happened about the same time last year. And since there were a lots of things, you tend to think about them all over and over again.
It's quite hard to put in proper words but I hope you get what I mean. All I want to say now is that I am not who I think I am supposed to be from November onwards. So if you think I'm getting weird, the answer is above.
On the other hand, looking at my MSN list today really drives me crazy. I realize whoever I considered my soul-mates have already moved away from cyber world and preoccupied themselves with the real world. Too little time to talk, too little things to feel. In the end, the one who refuses to leave which is me suffers
I wonder when I will find a soul-mate again. At least some one I can talk to all the time without both parties getting bored. People these days do not get me at all, as bad as to insult my music taste and my hobby on stalking men. What's wrong with that anyway?
At this rate, I think I have to learn to get used to self-motivated situation when no one is really around to give me strength. Forget about parents, I'm the one who's giving them strength unconditionally now. Brother is basically busy with girlfriend. Friends are too lack of motivation too to give any extra to me. Plus the soul-mate thingy. Haiz....really miss them
I think I'm too much to handle
By the way, do not feel sad if I do not consider you my soul mate yet. It's just that way it is. Good friend and soul mate are two different things. I just appreciate you both.
Earth Wind and Fire is coming to my place. Damn it I have no money left.
Some stupid asshole really pisses me off these days. Not that he has something to do with me directly but he deserves all the hatred in the world just for being himself. I think some people are just born to be hated if they do not change the way they live.
Man, I don't think he even has a brain. Probably, he's too busy feeding his **** to improve his IQ. Pervert. Stupid.
Have not updated this blog since forever. Believe me, I would never want to abandon this one. Facebook is overexposed. So this is like this only place where I can go on and on about my life without being spotted as a very vain person
There are so many news to tell you.
Firstly, my new life in TOA is mad!!! Mad as hell. I have never had this much lack of sleep before. Even during A levels. Stress level is too high to be concerned with these days. Everyone is stressed out so much that the one who rants about that will be automatically singled out. That's good because instead of venting about school and work, most of our topics is about having fun. Wishful thoughts.
Secondly, my study is going downhill due to artist's block. Whatever you want to call it. Need to get back the motivation soon.
Thirdly, well about motivation. I'm madly in love with my motivation now. Hot illustrator teacher. Who can resist.
Lastly, I really miss my old days in Singapore when I could just sit in one place and wait for my favourite bands to come. In Malaysia, there are very little or no concert. Quite boring. So probably, I'll skip school this coming March to come over Singapore for Mosaic. Hope that my SAPS or TSPO will come. I'm gonna paint them the most gorgeous fan art ever!!!
Wishful thought again
For the one who is struggling with exam: Jiayou. I might not sound like I care but I pray for you to do well everyday.
